What a great morning! Today was my first day of committing to a fit lifestyle. This day comes after years of inconsistency and months of complete (as in, totally null and void) absence from the gym. I honestly couldn’t tell you the first time I decided to start exercising – to be a part of the “in” crowd that cares about their health and appearance. I do remember that it began with just a thought to myself: I would love to regularly attend a gym. Then, I worked up the nerve to sign up for a gym membership months later. Since then, I’ve had a love/hate relationship with the equipment, the sweat, and the discipline of sticking with it. I now see that because I didn’t have any real goals, I would start and stop, but today, I am committing to making it a lifestyle once and for all.
I decided to commemorate this day by taking some pictures of myself before I started working out. (You could say that I spent a little too much time to get the right pose.) After tucking in my stomach and flexing a few areas, I was ready to snap the camera. Yes, I liked what I saw in the mirror – the image that I manipulated.
Even as I look at these pictures now, I can’t help but remember what happened just thirty minutes prior to this moment. I took some pictures at home behind the bathroom door – the real image of me. The exposed me. This was the “me” I wouldn’t dare show anyone, let alone post it to the internet.
The number of times that I have hidden the real me from the world is too numerous to count. I literally spent my entire life putting on a facade of who I wanted others to see, not who I really am. From imperfections to insecurities, I hid everything and was comfortable with doing so because it was the safer choice. This is bigger than my appearance. It goes deep down to my soul. That stops today.
I firmly believe that if you don’t like something about yourself, you should change it.
- I didn’t know how to cook, so I learned
- I didn’t like the fact that I was driven by my emotions, so I studied on new habits of dealing with life
- I wanted to travel more, so I saved money to do so
And now, I am not satisfied with the pictures above, so I am committing to changing it. No more manipulated selfies. Just the real me.
This journey towards a fitness lifestyle represents my journey towards being pleased with the woman staring back at me at all times, especially behind closed doors.