It’s been about 15 days since I wrote my last post – 10 days since I realized that I have been away for far too long. As you can see from perusing the site, I’ve spent time playing with the aesthetics and making it much more user friendly. (It has turned into an entertaining way to spend my time.)
As the days continued on, though, I asked myself why I wasn’t posting. I convinced myself that it was so that I could focus on redecorating my blog, but the deepest part of me just wasn’t buying it. It’s been 2 days since I admitted to myself that I am still afraid to be vulnerable with my writing, so much so that I just stopped altogether.
See, when I started Empowered Narrative, I was high off of the newness of this personal goal. Finally! I said to myself. I’m going to achieve a goal I have always wanted to do. When I said those words, I assumed it would be easy, and during the first few months I was very creative and posted often. I felt as if I was on a carnival ride, soaring in the air. Since the new year, that newness wore off, I’m back on the ground, and I’ve committed less and less to writing.
I now realize that in my whole life, I never had to push myself this hard. I mean, I was a go-getter when it came to pursuing academic achievement or career advancement. Personal goals, though? Well, those are just not in my nature. The most vulnerable thing that I can say to you right now is that I’m struggling to stay on top of my goals.
(exhale) Wow, it makes it easier to breathe once it’s out there. Since I’m being honest, I should also tell you that my commitment to fitness is on the struggle bus as well, but I will save that for another post.
After confessing the truth, let me adjust my perspective. I’m sure many of you reading this have had a time (even if that time is now) where you have struggled to meet a goal, and that’s perfectly okay. What’s not okay is choosing to quit thereafter because of fear of failure or backlash. In my case, I’m afraid to write because I am afraid to expose my deepest experiences.
How do we get back on the ride and try again? Here is what I’ve found to help me push through:
- Admission. We can’t correct what we don’t want to face or admit. When I finally got honest with myself a few days ago, it opened up the opportunity for change.
- Keep Going. You may do a little today and a little more tomorrow, but keep going. Perseverance is about trying every day, not only when you feel like it. Before you know it, you will be further than you ever thought.
Even though, those two things sound simple, they are very difficult to do. Still, they’re not impossible. So, let’s remember to appreciate the entire ride we’re on and fight through the fear.
Are there any goals you’re struggling to pursue? I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to share in the comments below.