The Deepest Needs

Until God is enough for you, no one else will ever be.

The deepest needs are the hardest met ones.  If you asked a group of people what their deepest needs are, they’d all probably give you a different answer.  Many people don’t even know what their deepest needs are, although they feel them continuously.

But God is very clear on what they are because He placed them within each and every one of us: Security, identity, acceptance, and purpose.

Every day, we wake up with the goal of trying to fill each of those needs.  And when we are lacking in any of them, we search hard to fulfill them – sometimes in the most unholy of ways.

Here are just a few examples in my own life, as shameful as they are for me to see them in black and white:

  • Security: Money is my form of security.  As long as I have it, I feel at peace.  Relationships fulfill my security, too.
  • Identity: Titles have weighed heavily in my life, such as “wife”, “mother”, and even high-ranking job titles.  They make me feel like I am someone.
  • Acceptance:  I often seek approval from others around me.  Approval often impacted my self worth.
  • Purpose: I want to feel significant, as if what I’m doing matters and is bigger than me. If I don’t, I’m unsettled.

Imagine each of the four needs as cups that must be filled up daily. (Maybe these are indeed the God-sized holes that we hear about?) When we turn to God for those needs, He gives us completion.  We feel closest to Him, as if nothing and no one else matters.

But when our cups are empty, we are thirsty.  We look everywhere for something (or someone) to restore what’s lacking.  Without the understanding that only God can fill those cups, we find ourselves in a hamster wheel of chasing what doesn’t last.

This especially happens in relationships where we assign these above responsibilities to someone who was never meant to fill them.

It’s time to take inventory in your life to evaluate any low-filled cups.  Where are you getting your deepest needs met? Who or what is meeting them?  Begin to clean out whatever or whoever has contaminated your cups.

Knowing what you deeply need is only half the battle.  Actively pursuing God for those needs is where the tests really lie.

As you work to make change in your life, remember this: God created you with those needs so He – and only He – can fill them.  It’s Biblical.  It’s merciful. It’s love.




Scripture of the Week

As you navigate your week, take time to meditate on this scripture where God spells out your security, identity, acceptance, and purpose all in one verse!

But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob,

And He who formed you, O Israel;

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by your name;

You are Mine.”

Isaiah 43:1 NKJV

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Elana Cole is an author, educator, and coach who is passionate about helping others in their personal journeys towards a more beautiful life. She is the author of "The Midnight Experience" and creator of Empowered Narrative, a blog about transforming the way you live and love.

2 thoughts on “The Deepest Needs

  1. God has already approved of you. You don’t need man’s approval. You have the identity of Christ, no need to compare yourself to others. God,didn’t make any mistakes when he created you. Titles don’t define you, you make them and they come from GOD. I’m very proud of you and every post you publish. Awesome job. Keep it up. I can’t wait until you publish your book.

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